Because at times like these, my mind remains burdened by the debate between what I have to do and what I want to do. More often than not, I don’t want to do what I have to do, so I write! These mental debates have changed over years. As a child, the debates would be simple and yielded a conclusion in no time. I would often find myself in a dilemma when choosing which subject to study, which cake to eat, which game to play, which place to visit, and the list goes on. Ask about today? Well! The debates are complicated. I wonder if I ever came to a conclusion. I generally just have to have my heart interrupt the mental process and end the discussion.
Everybody, including me, finds it hard to take out some me-time! There are times when I don’t want to watch a program, don’t want to code, don’t want to walk, don’t want to talk, don’t want to read, don’t want to listen, but just lie down, close my eyes and think of nothing. There are times when I lie down in the ground of the college campus and stare at the endlessness of the sky, not thinking of the incomplete assignments, upcoming series of tests, and everything else. It is the sky that I want to look at, in the evening. The darkness that befalls it is brighter than many of our days, many of our thoughts!
They say we cry when things are more beautiful than we expected! They are right.
It so happened with me one fine day that I realized how true this statement was. Like any other college going student, I have similar worries of my internships, studies, examinations, marks, projects, “actual learning”, and what not. My mind keeps working constantly and vigorously, trying to figure out what is to be done the next moment, weighing arguments for and against it. Only my brain knows how it copes with all the pressure. Until this one day, I thought I really had no worries because that was what I had become used to. I thought I was happy and was at peace. I was lying on the bed hugging my mother, in her arms, after really long! All of a sudden tears started trickling down my eyes. Within no time, I had started crying my heart out. It seemed like I had exactly what I had wished for unconsciously. It was like I got the part missing from my life. It was the peace I had never sought. It was a moment more beautiful than I had expected! I couldn’t think of anything else, and suddenly I was left with a realization of how easy life is with parents, with family; how beautiful it is to live a pampered life and not face the hardships. My mother was worried about what was troubling me, but I think it is time I assured her that she should be happy this happened. Nothing worried me then. It was a moment filled with silence. There was calmness in my mind. I had not felt anything like that in a long time, rather, ever before. There was no activity going on in my mind. It was love and peace together. It is at a time like this we understand how important it is to stop once, even if for a minute, and admire beauty in any way that we can. I had nothing to think of. I was just being me, just existing. The noise of thoughts had hushed away. There were just sounds of silence!
Feeling glad and being thankful for the beauty there is in this world, is important. Moving continuously doesn’t give an insight of where we are headed to, but taking out time to stop and not move shows us how far we’ve come. Once in a while, just stop in front of the mirror and smile to yourself. Look at how beautiful you are. Once in a while, stop and look at the birds, at the grass, at someone smiling, at someone feeling as beautiful as you, at your past, at your future, and most importantly, at your present, because that is what you have after all. Learn to appreciate your existence because you are unique. You can be the reason of peace in someone’s life. You can be an inspiration to someone. Instead of worrying and whining about what you don’t have, utilize that time to feel thankful for what you have.
That, my friends, is the key to finding peace.